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Tomb Raider

(2 popcorn boxes)

  O! M! Gosh! We are three for three my friends. I may give up on movies altogether. Ha! Ya, I don’t believe that either.

  I will start by saying that the 2001 version of Tomb Raider, starring Angelina Jolie, also had some serious plot and tone issue…however, it did have Angelina Jolie. Jolie was the only good part of that film. She was tough, smart, beautiful and totally convincing as an adventurer.

  This 2018 version of Tomb Raider, starring Alicia Vikander tried to fix the tone and plot problems from the first film by taking the good parts of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and slapping Lara Croft in them. Sadly, Vikander falls short of the vibrant figure we expect in Lara Croft and Indiana Jones is always a better film.

  We meet a twenty-something Lara Croft who is working as a bicycle take-out delivery person in London. She is an heiress, but she has no money since she refuses to sign the paperwork that will declare her father, Richard (Dominic West), dead. He’s been missing for seven years. My thoughts were “Just sign the papers! If you find him alive there are steps to take! You’re not really killing him!” I get so worked up. Lara did not listen to me.

  She is convinced that she will find him if she can discover the island he was headed for when he disappeared. Well, I’m sure the authorities thought of that when this rich philanthropist disappeared, but what do I know?

  In Tomb Raider Lara Croft runs a lot. She runs after the thieves who stole her backpack… she runs away from those thieves when they become menacing… she runs from the evil guy who captures her on the island… Did I forget to mention the evil guy? (Walton Goggins – always delightfully creepy.) I digress. She runs into the tomb to escape the collapsing floor… she runs out of the tomb to escape the explosion… you get the picture.

  The jungle scenes and the storm at sea were well done. The sidekick – there’s always a sidekick – Lu Ren (Daniel Wu) was interesting and woefully underutilized. But besides the totally tired and recycled storyline, Vikander could not carry the title character. Adventurer? Mixed martial arts fighter? I don’t think so. She mostly looked like she should eat a sandwich.

  Only two boxes for Tomb Raider. The ending set us up for a series of films. Yikes. As the husband and I were walking out of the theater we heard an optimistic gentleman behind us say “the next one will be better”. It would have to be, it couldn’t be worse. The action was mediocre and disappointing. This film is rated PG-13 for violence and some language.

  Check this week’s issue of the Frankenmuth News for a complete listing of shows and times.


  I compared last week’s Red Sparrow to Angeline Jolie’s Salt so we’ll try some Jolie trivia. She appeared in this 2004 futuristic film starring Jude Law. I don’t blame you if you don’t remember it… while it looked beautiful, it had no substance and was quite forgettable.


      Joel Edgerton is hardly recognizable in this Netflix movie, but still a very interesting character. Bright.


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